the idiot’s doorbell

that’s what they call the guy who drives up to pick up his date and honks his horn rather than parking, turning off the engine, getting out and ringing the goddamned doorbell like a gentleman and an adult. it’s one of the most obnoxious things next to car alarms going off at 3:00 a.m. there’s some goober doing it right now, and i’m preparing myself to deal with a rudely awakened and screaming toddler.

i gather some racist white folks used to [or probably still do] call it the “_____ doorbell” and insert whichever ethnic group they wanted to stereotype that day. however, i’ve noticed white people doing it just as much as anyone else, so i can’t see why.

i think it’s largely a teenage thing. so we could call it the “teenager’s doorbell” but that wouldn’t be fair either.

so “idiot’s doorbell” it is. i think that has a nicer, uh, ring to it, in a manner of speaking.

next: a discussion of the “moron’s fire drill”.